Maggie's Summer

    Well, I have wanted to post the highlights of house and home, and especially baby since the spring, but by the time I had compiled my favorite photos and stories, something happened in our home that threatened to crush, even eliminate, one of our own.  Our family had to pull out of all social media outlets and cocoon for several weeks as we processed in our own hearts all that happened before we could share the story with the world.  Those that walked with us daily knew, and kept a vigilant guard over our family through prayer, and continue to stand with us and with our beloved girl.  So, bear with me as I write, and you read.  And keep in mind that the first and foremost purpose of this blog is to document the history of our family for our older ones to reminisce and our younger ones to read the stories of mom and dad, brothers and sisters, as they came along and began to write their own.  Though I seek to write as candidly as I can, I also desire to protect the privacy of my children, and respect the personal lives and reputation of each one that has ever affected our lives positively or negatively. They'll have their day to answer, and it won't be to me.

    In the spring, Maggie started with an internship on a farm in north Texas that we had visited back in 2011.  It was beautiful and lush, even in the years of drought, with tall oaks throughout the property and the train running alongside the pastures full of dairy goats and miniature Jerseys .  The farmer's wife ran a small market right on the highway bordering the farm in which she sold her hand made goat milk soaps, dehydrated berries, baked goodies, honey from their hives, farm fresh eggs, raw milk, and grass fed meats.   Maggie had wanted to intern there for years, but it was too far to drive her there daily, and she was too young to drive herself that far.  They also had a son, in his thirties at the time, that lived and worked on the farm.  As we didn't know the family personally, and had no history with them, we didn't feel it appropriate to leave Maggie out there under the present circumstances.  Times had changed for the family back in the fall of 2015, as Maggie read on their blog that their son would be moving and they would be down-sizing.  She had made plans to attend a prominent cosmetology school in the spring, but with this news, asked once more if we'd consider approaching the farmer's wife with the offer of an internship before they down-sized out of the things she wanted to learn the most. Maybe she could help them "save the farm."  Curtis and I agreed that this was the time, if ever, to snatch up such an opportunity before it was gone, possibly forever.  Maggie emailed the farmer's wife, and she replied very positively.  We made arrangements and they prepared a place for her in the trailer sitting next to the dairy barn out back of the main house.  She was ecstatic. 

    On February 27, Curtis and I packed her up and followed her out to what was to be her home for at least the spring and summer, and if all went well, an entire year.  The trailer was immaculate and smelled wonderful.  Mama Farmer had a white down comforter on the bed, clean and folded towels hanging in the little bathroom, and condiments and coffee stocked in the cabinets.  Out every window was a view, and the dairy goats were near neighbors, sure to bring familiar sounds of home. We unloaded her stuff and got her set up to run her own little house. Curtis and I hugged Mama Farmer's neck and shook hands with Daddy Farmer, a grandpa to 5 little ones about whom they shared hilarious stories, then charged them with her care and safe keeping.  After hugging and kissing Maggie, we said goodbye.  

    The internship went well, and she enjoyed working, mainly planting, as it was springtime, but we learned while she was there that the farmer's son was still helping out three or four days a week, and that she'd be working alongside him quite a bit.  Though my peace level took a nose dive, I trusted that she'd keep her head on straight.  This man, now 35 years old, was still single, and quite good looking, full of charm and wit and really appreciated the farm.  He loved working with the animals, and knew everything from how to keep the equipment running to how to keep does in milk.  He was talented at making things grow, and loved doing it.  I'm not a fool, and could see the obvious attraction such a bachelor might provoke from a young aspiring self-sustaining farm girl.  Maggie and I talked about him, and she asked if Curtis and I would have a problem with his age and a potential interest she might have in him.  We talked about his spirituality and his beliefs, which of course are paramount even before age would be a factor.  But, the age thing was a big deal, and neither Curtis nor I were certain Maggie really wanted him versus the idea of him because he came with the farm.  What we didn't know was that Maggie had already let down her guard, not suspecting he would take a serious interest in her, and the daughter that had preached the virtues of a chaperone on dates to her best friend had now compromised in a relationship with the farmer's son.  As she continued to date him behind our backs, and toy around with the idea of being in love with him, he and his mother pressured her to keep quiet about the relationship, as it would cast Maggie in a bad light to Daddy Farmer who knew nothing of the relationship, and cast his son in a bad light to us.  The only problem: Maggie wanted to tell us, she wanted to come clean and deal with the consequences.  By the time she told us, three weeks later, she sat in Jason's Deli across the table from us tears streaming, asking for us to get her out.  She wanted to come home, and to get away.  She was scared because she had taken a pregnancy test and it was positive.   Right then and there, Curtis and I asked her if she wanted to make a life with this man, if she loved him.  She said no.  She did not love him, and did not want to make a life with him, the father of this baby.  She didn't return to the camper again. 

 

    We honored her request, and two days later we took Curtis Wade and Christian out to get her things and move her back home, but not before Curtis called the Farmer to request permission to come onto the property to do just that.  He didn't want any trouble, and he didn't want his son there.  This man, upon hearing what had also been kept from him, came unglued.  It wasn't Maggie who came into a bad light, but his own son.  He was furious, and we began to see a tangled web that Mama Farmer and son had spun over time of lies and deceit.  Maggie got tangled right in the middle, and was manipulated to cover this man's transgressions.  One of the most gut-wrenching things said by the Farmer's son was that if he got her pregnant, we would be forced to agree to their union.  It had only been a week and a half since she mentioned to me that she might like him!  We didn't even have time to seriously consider it before we find out she's pregnant! 

 

   After we moved her home, Maggie spent her days sleeping, and her nights up talking to me. She turned in her keys and her phone at her own request, and details emerged that made my spine tingle.  How in the world does a happy-go-lucky, devoted, and fiercely moral daughter give it all up in one month's time?  Curtis and I spent countless hours in the study talking to her, and seeking to heal the shipwreck of her broken spirit.  She was devastated.  The rest of the story is really hers to tell, and one day she will.  This summer has been a roller coaster of extreme emotion and dramatic swings in her own heart attempting to reconcile the image in the mirror to the person she knew herself to be once upon a time.  Every one of her relationships were affected, every one altered, though I do not know one person who stood in condemnation or judgement of her.  The two most dramatically changed were with Milly, and with her very best friend since childhood.  These girls did everything together, sharing details of their lives, hopes and dreams, and holding one another accountable to do the right thing.  Now, they were stunned and speechless, drawing back to mourn the loss of everything innocent and true. Her daddy and I sat speechless, as well, on date nights and errands, in the wake of the news.  But, one thing I had grown to be certain of was that God is good, He is faithful, and He is able to keep that which was committed to Him.  Maggie had been committed since birth, and she had also committed herself of her own free will to God's purposes and intentions for her life.  God wasn't shocked, and He wasn't at a loss as to what to do next.  He had her.  He had already paid the price for her sin.  He had already redeemed her.  All that was necessary now was for her to believe it and receive it, a journey only she could take. 

 

    Where Curtis and I Stand

 

    I have laughed heartily at the assumptions others have made of our family. From social media to personal texts sent to different ones, we've had the opinions of those that haven't been in our home in years trickle into the den once again. I've always teased the kids that there was never a need to start into a soap opera or primetime TV drama, just get a bag of popcorn and sit back on the couch and watch your life unfold.  The characters with parts and lines will add all the drama you could stomach, with comedy strewn throughout.  There are high moments and low moments, victories and losses, but most of all....there's love.  In our home, true love, the kind that does not hesitate to speak truth, but bathes it in love and absolute commitment.  We took Maggie back in with an understanding of the same principles by which we have lived all along.  We do not tolerate or condone immorality, crude language, certain movies and music, and certain internet and book content.   She was free to make her choice, and if she wanted home, it was here for her as it always has been.  We had many discussions with her seeking to determine if she had changed her mind along the way and decided she wanted to pursue the Farmer's son. Though we would never consign her to a life with someone she consistently maintained she didn't love, we wanted to support her choice. Throughout the duration of the summer, she returned to him several different times before she'd try to leave again.  The only pattern that became apparent, though, was that her returns to him were preceded by feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.  The only consistent fruit of their continued union was absolute torment, confusion, nightmares, and an abandon of all morality.   My girl wasn't the same.  Broken, lifeless, lost, and filled with unprecedented rage, those are only a few of the words I could use to describe the normally vibrant, cheerful, goofy, hilarious, passionate, yet happy-go-lucky young lady that had swooned everyone who happened across her path and who offered hope in her casual smile. 

    She wanted her baby.  We also discussed every option, except abortion, which was unthinkable to her and us, as well.  From Curtis and I adopting to relieve the constant threat in her mind that this family would pursue custody of some sort, to a hospital birth as opposed to a home birth, we talked it out.  I didn't want her to feel any pressure whatsoever to do what I've done.  Listen.....when it comes to giving birth, that's between you and Jesus!!  No one has the right to speak to that.  A woman has to do whatever she can do to get a baby here safely, and her peace is at the foremost of a successful delivery.  When she chose a natural birth through the birthing center, I didn't want her to be pressured to use my midwife, though this woman is dear to my heart.  But, my heart isn't the only one around here on which Miss Donna has left an indelible impression.  So, with Donna poised to deliver one from whom she delivered, Maggie is set to give birth in mid January to our first grandchild. 

    Though we're not certain how this story will end, we are sure that she and baby are both loved and accepted, and that this family is ecstatic to receive another precious life into our midst.  And, although we believe in forgiveness, restoration, and redemption, it is only the repentant that receive grace, according to Scripture.  If one is determined to live in compromise and sin, a life of immorality with no remorse, then we have the responsibility to remove that person from fellowship.  How can I place a stamp of approval on that knowing it destroys?  How can I receive that into our home and still teach morality to our younger children?  It's not okay, but really it's okay.  That would be a double standard.  You know, every home has its boundaries.  Moms and Dads have set particular boundaries for generations in accordance to their beliefs.  Some are considered strict, others liberal.  Either way, you will find the tipping point in each home.  What I do know is that each parent will give an account to the Lord for the trust He bestowed with each little life.  I take that very seriously, and so does Curtis. 

    In the following posts, I'll attempt to catch up on this almost unbelievable summer!!  Curtis and I had the privilege of taking our entire family, including Joel and Madison, to Ireland!!  It was surreal and seemingly out of this world!!  Every single one of us came home with stories and perspectives to last a lifetime, and we had the opportunity to heal broken places in our family that were already on the mend.  I love these kids.  I love this life with them, and even with all we've been through, I wouldn't trade a single one for an easier ride.  God is good!  And seeing Him work in and through our children has given me the greatest lessons I've ever been taught. 





Maternity shopping before Ireland.  No, she wasn't showing that much then, it is a pillow  :)