Our New Love

 

 

We welcome with utter gratitude...

 

Cash Alistair Parnell

 

 

 

 

Born Tuesday, December 29, 2015

at 9:45am, 9lbs, 6ozs.

21 1/2 inches long

 

 

    I had been having consistent contractions for three days ahead of time, keeping me bound to the house, as they were strong enough to get a baby here, but needed to be closer together than 30 minutes to an hour apart, and needed to happen when I'm awake....not asleep.  We'd time them for a few hours, then they'd die off leaving me to anticipate and rest.  On the 28th, my midwife, Donna Miller, told me to drink a glass of wine and take a hot bath, then go to bed.  We'd try to get these contractions into daylight hours to produce a baby with me rested for the task.  So, I followed her instructions, and 39 minutes after turning in for the night, my water broke!  I called Donna once more and she said to try to rest, and call when contractions started up again, but that today, I would have my baby. 
    I woke Curtis up at 2:30am, and he made the preparations in our room, making up the bed with the plastic sheet and bleached white sheet sets, one on which to deliver a baby, and then another underneath the plastic one on which to rest when all is said and done.  I've seen him do this 11 other times, and each time, I'm filled with hope on one hand, and slight terror on the other.  I'm always hoping for an easier birth experience, with lots less pain.  Thus, the reason I finally decided to rent a birthing pool/tub heeding the advice from my friends who swear by it, and my sister's positive experiences.  He got the tarp laid out, the tub inflated, and filled it halfway with nothing but our hottest water, knowing I may not need it for a while longer.  We were set, though I kind of regretted laboring through the night knowing Curtis would still face a full day even when I would get to rest. 
    We called Donna at 4:30am when contractions had finally settled into 6-10 minute intervals.  I didn't get into the tub until around 6:00am, and baby was born almost four hours later.  The tub stayed hot the entire time, and I now have pros and cons I can offer from my own water birth experience.  It happened smooth as silk....to those witnessing, but to me, it had the same 30-45 minutes of agonizing pain that has accompanied every other delivery.  If I could just shave that last bit off, I'd relish the experience!  All in all, baby was born healthy with not one complication during labor or delivery.  God is soooooo good!! 
    I want to find the pictures, still on glossy 4x6's, of Curtis doing this with Madison some 21 years ago.  What a comparison that would be!  Here's Daddy doing the honors once again of dressing baby for the very first time. 

Big sister, who waited anxiously for this little boy's arrival, resting by mom, completely mesmerized.



    The greatest thing about having babies with so many older capable siblings around is the ability to truly rest once the job is done.  I only held him three times the day he was born.  Otherwise, I slept.  Ready to face the next few days of healing and midnight feedings.

   Here are pics the kids took of Cash's first day:

How we came to name him Cash:

Curtis and I were driving to Sprouts one night talking about what it means to be expecting another baby at our ages, and at that...another boy.  We were so excited.  He teased that we should name him Cash, because that's what we need more of at this juncture.  I laughed heartily, but as I ran it through my head, it sounded adorable.  We told Curtis Wade about it when we got home, and he emphatically demanded that this little guy's name has GOT to be Cash.  He absolutely loved it.  It was met with less enthusiasm from the others, but I began to pray in earnest considering the name.

We attended Dr. Joel Young's class on September 13.  He's the Messianic Jewish Rabbi teaching the Bible from it's Hebrew roots.  That night, among other profound things he taught, he said that what Jesus said up on the cross before He died was, "It is finished."  In Hebrew, it is actually translated, "Paid in full."  I sat stunned as it resonated in my spirit....paid in full, cash, fully owned, fully yours, completed, no debt.  It was what Jesus did for us, to take us back to the Father, fully at peace with God, no more to be paid, He took it all.  I turned to Curtis with wide eyes and whispered, "CASH!"  I was sold, and so was Daddy.

    During the days leading up to Cash's arrival, we enjoyed incredibly beautiful weather, and took full advantage.  I was so blessed to spend days like these distracted from my uncomfortable state, crampy and tempted to be irritated, but these guys kept me busy and entertained.  I sat talking to Madison in California while they played and picnicked.  Christmas shopping was done, presents wrapped, all decorations up and beautiful, nothing but time on our hands.  It was great.  You might recall the lovely redhead from previous posts, my midwife's great-granddaughter.

For those interested in the read, I'll write about the birth and the days that followed:

 

    Though I obviously believe in the life we've chosen to live and welcome as many children into this world as God so chooses to give Curtis and me, I have never relished the idea of actually getting them here.  I love being pregnant, but I do not love labor and delivery.  In fact, if I let my emotions get away from me, I'm overcome with fear and dread.  I've had amazing experiences, in that, they have all been born at home, safely in my own bed, without one complication, perfectly formed and perfectly healthy.  Though I never in a million years would take those paramount things for granted, it still hurts.  It just hurts!  The pain is unlike anything I ever care to walk through again, yet.....I know from the moment I see that little line on that test what inevitably lies ahead.  By the eighth month, I've usually already had a good cry about it with Curtis encouraging me that I was created to do this and that my body will do the job, I simply have to cooperate until it's done.  Each time, though, God has met me.  He has answered those hushed focused prayers reeling through my head during my greatest distress, resulting in a gush of emotion beyond anything I can describe the moment that baby is out.  RELIEF. WORSHIP. GRATITUDE. ECSTACY. 

 

    With this one, I had a reprieve in that tub worth mentioning.  When I got in that 100 degree water, I had already been quivering uncontrollably, another marked sign that a baby is imminent, and the water settled all of that nervous energy allowing me to fully relax in between contractions, which occasionally would be a 20 minute reprieve.  I got hot, though, so much so that I started to get nauseous.  I needed something cool on my face, so Curtis got me a cold rag.  That wasn't quite enough, so I requested the window next to me opened.  It was 32 degrees outside!  But, the breeze that came through that window and the fragrance of the crisp outdoors, the sounds of the early morning predawn rustling of the birds, the moment the residential flock of geese flew overhead honking in unison flying from one pond behind us to the neighbor's pond across the street, it was all a chorus that serenaded my soul and comforted me.  It was straight from heaven as I worked through those painful minutes that brought baby closer to his arrival.  I relished it, and thanked God for the romance. I failed to notice that the room had dropped to below freezing with my midwife, her assistant, and my husband dressed for a blizzard and escaping to the den to stand by the fire Curtis had roaring while I labored.

 

    At the very end, the pain became unbearable and what I had feared landed square in my lap once more.  I held on hoping for him to crown with each one, knowing that I could then push and we'd hold a baby!  I finally changed positions pulling to my knees, and as I lifted up intending to get to the bed, he not only crowned, but began to emerge.  The only problem....the contraction ended, and he sat with a partial head out for several minutes!!  It was excruciating.  Finally, another contraction and I pushed with everything I had, head, shoulder, and out he came behind me in the water.  Donna had told Curtis to pull me back, and her assistant to pull the baby out from under me.  I sat back already gushing tears, and they couldn't reach the baby, so Donna had me pull him up out of the water.  She is so peaceful, and her presence so reassuring.  I thought he could be in trouble with all of this happening under water, but she let me know he was just fine as she said to my boggled and overwhelmed brain, "Now, Jackie, pull your baby up. He's here."   I pulled him to my chest and must have sobbed for 15 minutes.  I couldn't stop the tears.  It was over.  The party can begin, not just an evening of festivities, or a week of fun, but a lifetime of pleasure and honor with this new little guy watching what God will do in and through his life. 

 

    I knew the trials were not completely over with the birth, as there is the milk coming in, usually causing engorgement and sore nipples.  I know what to do to minimize that trauma, but what I dubbed "Mack truck" day arrived after a full two days of rest and successful nursing.  My milk came in, I developed slightly blistered nipples, I ran a low grade fever sending me into a frenzy of cold chills.  For 24 hours, I couldn't lay on my back or side without pain, and him latching on was intensely painful.  I teared up at one point with the children waiting to hand him to me, knowing the pain I'd need to press through to have ultimate success.  And my legs, now draining from excess fluid and blood, were also in severe pain to the point I couldn't walk.  My legs were painful to the touch. Varicose veins are a bear!  All of this in one day.  I hate feeling helpless, older, weak, or frail.  Time.  That's all I needed, a little more time.  By New Year's Day, it had all subsided to allow for comfortable sleep, and true restoration.  He continued to nurse, but now I couldn't wait for that time.  I could walk without pain.  I could enjoy my baby!  Now we're on the downhill slide, BABY!!!!  Life begins again!! 

 

   In the end, I had prayed for him, I had signed up for the entire kit and caboodle, and I'd do it all again for the joy set before me.  I don't understand how some can have a glorious testimony of a pain free childbirth based on the fact that Jesus took our pain on the cross, and became the curse so we could be free from the curse, yet I did not have that experience.  I believe it.  I received it by faith, and I fought to overcome fear through the power of His Word.  But, nada.  I don't believe God kept it from me, I think I have an inhibitor somewhere.  God has no favorites.  So, I press on for the prize, I count my abundant blessings, and I revel in the absolute goodness of the Lord, fully trusting His wisdom in my life.